When Growth Meets Resistance
The “Crabs in a Bucket” Phenomenon During Times of Change
The hardest part of growth isn’t always the change itself. It’s navigating how others respond to it.
When someone begins striving for something new — a different role, a new goal, a shift in identity — it can often trigger discouragement, criticism, or subtle forms of resistance from those around them. This isn’t always intentional or malicious, but it has a real impact.
There’s a familiar metaphor that captures this dynamic: the “crabs in a bucket” phenomenon.
When crabs are placed in a bucket, any crab that attempts to climb out is promptly pulled back down by the others. Over time, this repetitive behavior creates a cycle that prevents any one crab from escaping. As a result, there’s no need to put a lid on the bucket; the system sustains itself.
Humans, of course, aren’t crabs. But during periods of change or growth, we can sometimes fall into similar patterns.
The Uncomfortable Truth
This behavior is often unconscious, but that doesn’t make it harmless. When it shows up, several psychological dynamics are frequently at play:
Social comparison
When someone close to us grows or changes, it can activate our own insecurities or self-doubt, quietly raising questions about our own choices.
Scarcity mindset
Many people hold an unspoken belief that success, recognition, or opportunity is limited. When someone else moves ahead, it can trigger concern: Will there still be enough for me?
Identity protection
Growth can unintentionally threaten shared identities, such as common roles, levels of ambition, or long-standing ways of relating, especially in close relationships or established workplaces.
Status quo bias
As humans, we’re wired for stability, so even positive change can feel destabilizing to those around us.
None of this means people are “against” you. But it does help explain why support isn’t always automatic, even when intentions are good.
Why This Shows Up During Transitions
Periods of transition tend to amplify these dynamics. A new role. A new goal. A career pivot. An exciting side gig. Even a shift in how you see yourself.
We often recognize this in personal contexts, such as quitting smoking, changing eating habits, or taking up a new hobby. But it can be even more pronounced in professional settings, where identity, status, and belonging are tightly intertwined.
For example, a team member applying for a leadership role may hear comments about “going to the dark side,” or someone pursuing a side project may face questions about their focus or commitment.
When someone begins to “leave the fold,” even in subtle ways, it can activate all of the dynamics above. What follows may not be overt opposition, but quieter signals: minimizing comments, skeptical questions, passive resistance, emotional withdrawal, or a sudden lack of enthusiasm where there once was encouragement.
Over time, these small moments can add up, eroding confidence and momentum if we’re not paying attention.
What Can You Do About It?
Perhaps first and foremost, it helps to recognize that this is a real and common phenomenon. When it happens, it’s often not about you. It’s about what your growth stirs in others.
From there, a few practical approaches can help protect your momentum:
Follow the energy
Are there certain conversations or people after which you feel smaller, more hesitant, or less confident? Do you find yourself second-guessing your direction only after talking with specific individuals? Start by noticing these patterns, and consider placing boundaries around your time and energy.
Surround yourself with supportive, growth-oriented people
Your environment shapes your mindset and actions. Accountability partners, mentors, coaches, and communities of like-minded peers can normalize ambition rather than question it.
Stay anchored in your why
Returning to your values and the deeper reason behind your change can help you stay grounded when doubt or distraction creeps in.
Bottom Line
Growth doesn't necessarily require cutting people out of your life, but it does require protecting your energy and momentum.
As you look ahead, consider not only the goals you want to pursue, but the environment and values that will help sustain them. Being intentional about the people and energy you surround yourself with can make all the difference.
There is no lid on what's possible when you're supported in climbing.
